Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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