Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
