Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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