Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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