you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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