Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
