Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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