So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
