So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
