I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
