Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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