i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
