i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
