omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
