If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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