She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
