Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
