Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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