Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
