I am in a vortex of obligation.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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