You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
