Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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