They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
