mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
