I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
