Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
