i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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