At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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