yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
