Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
