Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
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