I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
