you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
