We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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