I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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