Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
