I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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