I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
