You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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