Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
