I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
