last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have fence marks all over my body
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
