I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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