well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
