there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
