Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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