Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
