I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Pooping to opera.
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