dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
