I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
