I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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