what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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