I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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