So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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