I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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