too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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