She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
