do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ketchup is God's man juice
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
whose parrot is this?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
