he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've blown a few things in my day
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
