8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
