She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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