We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
