Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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